portrait commission in progress

I am so in love with this portrait! completion is taking a little longer than usual since I am documenting its making in video. first parts will be uploaded soon.

commissions, prices and vertigo.

Sketch for portrait commission in progress.

in my next video i will be showing the making of a portrait - this one i'm working on right now. it's been a gratifying, very enriching experience, and i'd like to share it. since i started doing the video thing people have been expressing the wish to see something related to my work. by the way, i'm grateful for having the best clients in the world. :)

talking about commissions, by Spring I may slightly raise my prices. i've been already doing this with my new paintings, since acrylics are not as economical as watercolors. i know that many artists charge by the hour, and although i have an hour price set up, i never use it because i care more about having a satisfying result, and  i don't want that a client's budget interfere in my "quality standard". usually i charge for a commission the same price i put on a personal project, but since you don't have the same freedom, that also should have some cost. also, thinking seriously about rejecting any project that has nothing to do with what i usually do or stifle my creativity. seriously, the expression is a bit strong, but i feel like i'm being raped (and the money won't compensate it...) I feel a little bad for saying this,-- if i was starving, i'd do anything!, but, thank goodness, it's not the case. anyway, the raises are not going to be too dramatic.

yesterday was the warmest day in many weeks in Frankfort: 61 F. the snow finally melted away and Kitty was happy for the gentle sun warmth.

been having episodes of dizziness/vertigo since one week ago. went to the doctor and she found a yucky buildup of ear wax in my ears, which were supposedly pressing the labyrinths and interfering with my body balance. ears are now all clean (ear wash is not as bad as i thought), but the dizziness persists -- although is not as bad as before. taking some time to see what will happen.

Witness (Heartland)

Only the hands can tell the truth about what grows in the heart.

Mixed Media
20 x 15
2010 

$500

in Progress: Untitled

this one came to me while doodling on my sketchbook the other day. i wanted something sweet and light to release me from the heavy impression of Lilith. it is about how only what we do can truly reveal what's in our hearts. in other words, you know the tree by the fruit it bears.

i am attempting to bring more looseness to it, without losing the graphic, design-ish style. that has been my aim forever, but i didn't think I quite got it yet.

doodling around... musing around...

it's funny how sometimes i feel empty after finishing a painting. it happened with Lilith and with some other ones... somehow i feel like i passed the point of what would be the best for that work, aesthetically. this is way too frustrating and feels like a lot of wasted work. Lilith looks too dark to me, excessively hot. i try to convince myself that is just how the painting is supposed to be, due to its demonic nature -- we, artists, don't have the control! people are praising it a lot, which is always flattering and encouraging, but believe me, I'm not the type that thinks it's everything okay just because of that. i am very conscious of my limitations and very self-critical (maybe too much sometimes.)

last night i decided to doodle around to relax and try to find some comfort. i need to do that more. when you are not pressed by concepts or commitments is when you mind opens and ideas arise more easily and freely.  i think i need to set myself free from my references, not to be so dependent on them. i need to play more with the body. i want more empty spaces. more elegance and serenity. i want less shadowy faces and color control, without losing the power.

i want my paintings dancing like the waters of a river. sometimes they just overwhelm me.

Lilith

Lilith

Mixed Media (Watercolor, Acrylics, Pastel and Graphite on illustration board)

15 x 20

2010

$500

The intriguing figure of Lilith appears in many religious traditions and myths. The most known story describes her as the first wife of Adam, who was created equal and refused to submit herself to him. Lilith fled from the Eden and became a lover to demons. Lilith can be seen as the dark side of the feminine principle, although this doesn't have a negative or "evil" connotation. In my conception, Lilith is the assertive, non-conformist, and confident part of the feminine self. She teaches us self-respect for our inner Goddess. Here, Lilith holds a cracked mask that symbolizes all the roles imposed over women by society and religions - be submissive, be good-looking, be a wife, etc  Those roles don't represent us in our wholeness, and have been stiffling our creativity and self-expression and creating a culture of conformism that have been disastrous for the development of an equalitarian society. 

in progress: Lilith

still frustrated and sad from the loss of my stuff. but we must move on. Lilith awaits.







like a good Moon in Scorpio, i've been always drawn to the underworld folks. i love drawing Liliths; this is my 3rd one, and it's the most intense and mature. my understanding of this goddess came a long way, and lately she's been blossoming inside myself with great intensity. there is a Lilith inside every woman, but our feminine unconscious has been so mashed up for so many centuries by the patriarchal mentality that we ended up suffocating that powerful, independent woman inside us. even without realizing it, many of us still believe that we are evil. that good girls don't do certain things. that we need to put a mask (usually with plenty of make-up and botox) to be "right" and acceptable. this is why my new Lilith holds a cracked mask: because it's time for us to reject those roles and become ourselves, whatever is our appearance, tastes, sexuality, and life styles.

 this Lilith was made about 14 or 15 (?) years ago... i was a graduate in fashion design and all my figures used to have this sort of "modelesque" presentation. the "Klimtian" style was already manifesting.

this one came about 4 years ago. I was trying to make a name in the fantasy/pagan market then. it's more of an illustration. i still like it, and people still look for prints of it. she looks pretty friendly and different from all the demonic cliches. maybe this is what I like the most in her. recently i noticed that, differently from this Lilith, who brings a dark crescent in her forehead, my new depiction brings the symbol of the Sun -- the masculine and creative power.

when s*** happens

here's a lesson for everybody who has rambunctious children at home and whose life depend on technological paraphernalia: keep your kids at least 5 feet away from your stuff. my 3 year old, who's like a bull in a china store, just had to trip over my laptop power cable to cause a disaster. the system was severely damaged. after trying for hours to make things work, I had no choice but to restore the hard drive to the factory state. now I'm here, at the household desktop, bleeding heart, watching while all my stuff is being swept out of my beloved laptop (which is just 4 months old.)

all my stuff includes: loads of pictures (cool moments that will never come back), paperwork, emails, reference pictures for ongoing projects, and... all the material I've been lovingly and carefully composing for my workshops. which means that I'll have to cancel them and return the money to people who have already signed up. how AWFUL is that??

my first video on YouTube!

I made this video yesterday talking about creativity and its relationship with the Divine and the Self. too bad my camera's volume is a bit low, but you can hear my charming accent and eventual broken English more clearly by wearing headphones :P

I pretty much enjoyed the experience (although it's more difficult and tiring than it may seem) and I'm planning to make other videos soon, showing my painting and works in progress. stay tuned!

in progress: Lilith

preparatory sketch:





penciling and first washes:







background and first glazings:









model is my new "stunner", Belinda Leopold (besides being a talented photographer, she is also a true beauty!)